Kathy's and Suzy's Visits, Mom's Talk of Birthday and David

From Kathy also on Tuesday, September 20, 2011

 Hi--- I talked with Sonia, the Administrator, and Sarah Jane, the Perry Supervisor, today after many days,months and conversations and it looks like they have a plan. They tell me that tomorrow, your Mom will move next door and be room-mates with Dorrie, who is quiet and not as functional as your Mom. Dorrie's room-mate was Adele who will be moving across the hall to a shared suite right next to Mary and Billie(the sisters). I will be going over tomorrow to sort out the clothes and stuff and see that all is in order. Let's hope it happens as they have promised. I will keep you posted. Tina--I think I mentioned that Saturday there is an Alzheimer's Walk starting at 10am at Mission Creek Park in S.F. Suzy and I are going to go, would you like to join us? I am registered and have pledges of $100. Let me know and I will give you the details. Love, K.

Suzy on Mom, Saturday, September 24, 2011

Well, I'm glad to be able to say that it was a pretty good visit. Mother was in a pretty good place. When I got there, she was lying on her bed, without her teeth in, and Kristine was sitting on her own bed and they were talking. It didn't sound abusive, but I didn't catch the words. Kristine was polite and fine throughout the whole visit, which was in the room, with Kristine there the whole time.

I'd bought some Chinese food, and although it was after their lunch, I offered some to them both. Kristine declined and Mother wanted some. So she and I ate the really not very good Chinese food, and Kristine got out a pastry she had in a bag and occupied herself with that. Mother and I chatted, and only occasionally did she say something that didn't make any sense at all. I'm not sure if she has a concrete idea in her head of what she wants to say and thinks she's saying and it's just that she's not accessing the right words, or what. But for the most part, she made sense. There was no, I repeat NO paranoid ideation expressed at any point. It was amazing. Nor was there, I repeat, nor was there any mention of the bathroom. Wow.

Finally after she and I had been working long and hard at our piles of fried rice, she said something like, "This is unending," And I agreed, saying it isn't very good either, is it? She agreed with me, and I put it away. But she'd consumed a good amount. (I'd found her teeth before that at her request.)

I'd taken her a delux box of crayons, and she really liked that. I had with me also a blank pad for artists, but she said she preferred to have designs already drawn to color, so I found her a couple of sheets she had lying around with designs, but she didn't want to do them b/c she'd colored those designs already another time. I left the crayons for another time.

Then I brought out a thematic crossword puzzle book I'd brought in with me that I'd had in the car for David, and we did a long puzzle, and when I asked if that was good or she wanted to do another, she said another, so I chose a short one, and we did them both. Overall, I'd say she did well at thinking of the responses, and she seemed to enjoy it. All this time, though, she was lying on her bed. She says she's very tired. And when we finished the second one and I got ready to go, she said she was going to take a nap. Kristine had already fallen to sleep on her bed while Mom and I did the puzzle together.

It would be so interesting if we could only know how often Kristine is mean to Mother compared to nice. But any mean is no good. Still, though, I'm curious if they've developed some kind of closeness...

Oh, Mother brought up her birthday. She said she'd really like manicure scissors. I didn't tell her they'd never let her have that, so I don't know if on her bday she's going to remember wanting them or not. When I asked her what else, she said a long sleeved blouse of soft material in a color that goes with her wardrobe. I'll look for a blouse for her. I asked her if she'd like some nice comfy sweatpants too, and she said yes. And also said she'd like a book. And later on, after we finished the crossword puzzles, she said she'd like that kind of a crossword puzzle book. Also somewhere during the day she asked if David would be coming to the party. I asked her how she felt about that. She said she'd like that, that she doesn't get to see him very often. I said I know he'd like to see her, too. But I could see she wasn't sure about his coming. She asked me again what I thought, and I said, if it's something she wants, it should happen b/c it's HER birthday, and an important one at that. But I did say that she knows that David requires a little extra help and attention and did she want that going on on her special day? I was truly trying to be neutral, and in fact feel there would be pros and possibly cons so I actually felt pretty neutral. I also knew that while she was in a pretty good state today, who knows how she'll be on the actual day we're celebrating. Then I told her that there was another possibility. I said hearing how much she wants to see David and wants him to have contact with her, too, I said that perhaps I could bring him to visit on a day that isn't the birthday party. That way they could still see each other.