Saturday, April 6, 2013

Dining on "The Other Side"


Labor Day, September 5, 2011

Dear Kathy and Suzy,
            I took Mom to eat in the main dining room, but I think it was probably a mistake.  I kind of wanted to try it when I could but during the week I can never get there early enough unless there’s a holiday, like today.
            Someone named Pheng Burlingame (husband’s last name) was almost complaining about Mom and called her “a tough cookie.”  I told her how wonderful Mom is, so I’m sure Pheng didn’t find me very supportive of her.  Mom was concerned about the bathroom but made the decision without any pressure from me to wear only one padded panty because she said “it was awful heavy” with two.  I reminded her that on Saturday she’d said she wanted to go to the “other” dining room, but that was, of course, when she was already on that side of the door.  Before we went out, she stood by the bathroom door and asked me to stand over by the window so she could see whether she could walk to me.  She could. 
            When we went out the 4,3,2,1 # door, she worried that they wouldn’t take her back and she’d lose her living arrangement.  She repeated that refrain several times.  Some very nice people came through to greet all the diners, and Carol (one of the concierges) was particularly kind, friendly, and reassuring to Mom.  Mom really seemed to believe what Carol said.  Rocsana also came by with medicine and was her usual sweet self. 
            At one point, Mom wanted to go to the bathroom, and she wanted me to come with her.  I said, “I’ll leave my Giants bag so they know we’re coming back.”
            She said, “Leave your money.  Then they won’t care.”
            I thought that showed good thinking.
            Besides worrying that they’d take her back, she asked, “Will they accept me?” as if she were going to a new place. 
            But Mom didn’t eat much, and I failed to get her a vanilla shake today.  I don’t think I’m going to be able to get back there until Sunday, but starting then, I’m going to take a different route to be sure that getting her a milk shake becomes part of the routine.  She ate half of the veggie burger and bun and just a couple of bites of cherry pie.  She drank some milk. 
            She asked repeatedly about where she was going to be, and when I took her back to the door, she made the usual protest.  “This isn’t where I wanted to wind up,” she said. 
            When I coaxed her in, she said, “And then they’ll say, ‘Nadine, come and play the piano.’”  I said, “Well, don’t you want to play the piano?” and she said, “Not when I have to poop.”
            She seemed really tired, and I hope she got a nice long nap.
            If I ever take her to the “finer” dining room, it’ll be a Sat. or Sun. when, then and there, she says she wants to eat there!  I also like your suggestion, Kathy, that we invite another Perry resident like Sylvia or maybe Ada to eat with us.

            Love,
            Tina

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