Suzy Takes Her Butch Girlfriend to the Best-Ever Visit with Mom

Suzy Takes Her Butch Girlfriend to the Best-Ever Visit with Mom May 30, 2011

Well, today's was quite a visit. I don't think there's been a visit since she moved there that's gone as well as today's did. That med seems to be working wonders right now!

I took Deb to meet her today. The first thing she said to me before I had a chance to introduce them and when Deb was out of earshot was, “Who is that man?”

           

 I explained that Deb is a butch woman, not a man, and she seemed to get it.

She was in the big room, playing the piano when we arrived. She played a bit more, but seemed frustrated that it wasn't going very well. I am sorry to say that it seems her piano playing memory is showing signs of fading, now. : ( She said that she wanted to take the music home to practice.

Then we went to her room. Kay was polite and pretty much just dozed in her chair, while Mom, Deb, and I chatted. Not long into the chat, she said, “What did you bring as a treat?”   (And I'd just said to Deb as we walked in, “Damn, I forgot to pick up a treat!”)

So Deb volunteered to go get something and after Mom said what she'd like, Deb did.

Meanwhile they came and told us it was dinnertime, so I went in with Mom and they set us at the big table so we could be together. They serve a really good looking meal, and Mom said she liked it, and she ate everything on her plate!

In the middle of dinner, Deb was back with a milkshake and cookies. Mother was appropriately thankful and I think the whole thing made Deb feel good. Mom downed the milkshake with her dinner. Then when I was about to break open the cookie box, they brought Mom lemon meringue pie for dessert, which I know she loves, so I asked if she wanted us to save the cookies for the next time, and she said yes.

We sat at that table and had a very good, truly almost totally normal conversation. She was animated but not overly. She just seemed content/happy, very engaged and appropriate. 

Deb was very impressed with her and she with Deb.

At one point she looked to me and said, ‘Do I use "he" or "she" when referring to Deb?!”’

 Deb and I got a kick out of that. I said, "Probably "she," but really either!"

And Deb said to Mom, "You are really a hip woman," realizing that Mother was acknowledging that some butches are male-identified and might truly prefer the use of the male pronoun. (Deb doesn't.)

Back in her room, there was one odd thing. She called me into the bathroom after a while of her being in there and wanted help with the pull ups, and it turned out she was trying to put on five. She had two totally on and another about at her thighs and two more around her shins. I realized it and suggested just the two she already had on seemed fine, if they were dry, and she checked and they were, so she was fine with taking the other three off and putting them back under the counter. Her anxiety level seemed WAY down today.

 She did want to know who's coming to visit tomorrow. I said you were, Kathy. Hope I got that right.