Mom
on Sunday, June 19, 2011 and Monday, June 20, 2011
(The Jonani Duo is written up separately. That triumphant day was followed by a doctor's visit and ice cream at a place in Walnut Creek--with Mom feeling conflicted because she thought she should be back playing the piano at the "office."
Dear
Suzy,
Mom was amazing on Sunday, when
Jonathan visited. She was already out in
the sitting room where the TV is, and a drowsy, peaceful Kay was in a
wheelchair near Mom, who was seated on the sofa. She was very happy to see Jonathan and didn’t
seem at all reluctant to play the piano when the subject came up. Then she asked him to get his clarinet, which
he’d left in the car just in case. They
played well together, and Billie, the resident who once corrected Mom’s
pronunciation (“PI-a-nist, not pi-A-nist”) sat close by and applauded. The daughter of another resident, Bob, heard
them and came in and complimented Mom and Jonathan, and we had a short
conversation about how piano playing is the last thing to go.
Today Mom had the kind of trouble
playing the piano that you described a couple of weeks ago, maybe the day that
you and Deb first visited together, but after our outing she seemed to need to
play, and she played for quite a long time, and played several piece, some of
them (particularly “Moon River”) over and over.
I couldn’t always recognize the tune.
About our outing: She had an annual check-up with her
neurologist Dr. Odel for the myasthenia gravis problem, and we didn’t want her
to build up anxiety about it, but we also wanted her to be ready to go out and
to know that we were coming. They got
her ready but didn’t tell her she was going out.
When we got there, a little bit
early, she said she had something to do,
and she headed toward the piano. When we
started to go with her, she said, “Don’t stand over me like parents. This is a try-out.” But
on her way to the piano, Sue stopped her and said she’d keep the music for her
until she got back. She suggested
another shirt. The conflict between what
she had planned to do and where we were directing her caused some
conflict. She felt that she wasn’t
meeting her obligation and worried the something would happen to the music and
people would be let down by her not being there to play for them.
But she was feisty and funny as we headed
for Kaiser. Jonathan was driving, and
Mom directed him, complaining occasionally about his waiting for red lights and
asking why he was turning instead of going straight, etc.
I’m pretty sure she said at one
point, “I’m going to talk to you like a mother and say ‘Go through those
lights.’” At one point she praised him
because he didn’t look at the man who in 92 degree weather was jogging with a
wool hat and jacket. She liked
Jonathan’s keeping his eyes on the road and just where we were going so we
could get to the appointment and get back for her to meet her obligations.
At one point she asked us to “switch
on your memory pads,” but I don’t know just what the context was.
When she asked just what the doctor was going
to do, Kathy reassured her that it was just a routine appointment—one he had to
do or he’d get fired. Mom said, “Oh,
great, let’s keep him for getting fired while I miss performing my obligations
and…get fired.” (Something like
that. I never remember the exact
words.)
We got to the appointment early, and
Kathy checked in while I sat with Mom and Jonathan parked his rental car.
Kathy got them to see Mom right
away, so we actually finished the appointment before the appointment time!
Mother did very well during the
appointment. She assumed her pre-Aegis
persona or combined Poshard with Aegis.
She spoke about what good care Kathy took of her, always giving her her
three pills. (I guess she’d forgotten
that Kathy used to put her Mestanon in that every-two-hours case that went off
at the designated time.) She was a
little bit confused about just how to blow into a tube. When Dr. Odel asked her to walk, she said,
“Well, I have to tell you that I’ve been sitting in my office all day.”
After the appointment, she was
willing to go have ice cream with us in Walnut Creek. Once again, she wanted to direct
Jonathan. “Why are you turning? Why don’t you just go straight? I’m sure there are ice cream places all
over.”
Jonathan said, “But we want to go to
the best ice cream place.”
Kathy remembered where one was, and sure
enough it was the best. Mom made
positive comments about all of us and also about a little girl, whose father
brought her over. (Picture follows.) Mom got chocolate ice cream with chocolate
syrup and the only problem was when she took bites that were too big.
Over all she coped very well with
being in such a busy place. The people
were really nice and friendly.
Mom made stops in the bathrooms here
and there.
Going back, she seemed uncertain
where she was going and where she’d been.
She said, “How did you find me?
How did you know where I was?”
When we told her that we saw her
every day, she said, “I don’t think I’m ever going to be let out.” Then
her thoughts returned to her obligations, and she said, “I have to…do all that
stuff…on the thing…you know what I mean.”
You can imagine how draining all
this must have been for her, and when we got back, Carol and Dee both greeted
her very warmly. Like the week after
Easter when she and I went out and soon came back, she went over to the
reception desk, and when Carol said warmly, “Can I help you?” Mom said something like, “Yes, I would like
your help. I’d like to know just what
I’m supposed to do now.”
When Dee spoke to her, Mom said, “I
know you because when I got my teeth, I liked them because they were like
yours.”
Then
she went to the bathroom right before the entrance to the Perry side and
once inside the main door went directly to the piano and started playing. She really needed to do that, but she had
trouble with the notes. She didn’t seem
to be aware that she was having trouble, so it wasn’t like when she became
frustrated and told you that she needed to practice. I don’t know how long she played, but she
must have been exhausted and just had to do it.
Jonathan needed to get back for
dinner with Patty and Joe, so we finally excused ourselves. We praised her, kissed and hugged her, and
left her still at the piano.
Sue told us on our way out that they
felt so lucky to have her playing for them.
“We almost feel that we should be
paying you!”
When Kathy said, “Well, that would
be fine,” Sue looked just a little startled.
I’ll send the pictures as
attachments. At one point today Mom had
no memory of seeing Jonathan on Sunday.
I’d shown her the picture of their concert a couple of times, but she
didn’t remember and said, “He didn’t see me yesterday.” When we reminded her about the concert, she
said, “I don’t remember. Something just
collapsed.”
Love,
Tina
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