Sunday, January 27, 2013

Two Visits wtih Hissing


            Between my visits on April 28 and May 1st, I heard from both Kathy and Suzy. 

            Kathy had visited Mom hoping to take her to the Happy Hour music, but this was not to be.
             “She was kind of absorbed with protecting the kids who were coming to visit and wanted to make sure they would not be harmed.”
            Mom did chat a bit with Kathy, though and didn’t kick her out.
            The Kaiser nurse who first diagnosed Mom with Alzheimer’s upped the Seroquel from 1 tab in the am, two tabs in the afternoon and two tabs at bed time to 1&1/2 tabs in the am, 2 tabs in the afternoon and 3 tabs at bedtime.
            Ah, meds!

            When Suzy e-mailed me, she said she wasn’t sure that Kathy needed updates when they were less than positive.  She clearly wanted to protect Kathy from too much pain—Kathy who’s endured the most pain on a daily basis during these difficult most recent years, going from Mom’s companion to Mom’s primary care-taker.
            Why can’t I say care-giver?  It seems to denote more helplessness.  Does it really?
              Suzy didn’t consider hers a good visit even though Mom “wasn't in that very deep paranoid state…No one was trying to kill anyone, no going on and on about the bathroom, although she made a few visits to it, no harping on the children who are going to come through.”
            She was, however, trying to pull the whiskers out of the tiger pillow Suzy had bought her
            “So it will be safe for the two year old who has been playing with it for hours,” Mom said.
            Suzy had to search and ask for help to get Mom some clean pants to wear. 
            The aides were very responsive and offered to do a load of wash on the spot.  Suzy found four garments, but when she gave them to the aide, Mom hissed, “They’re going to get mad at that many items.”
            The aide said it was perfectly fine.
            After coaxing Mom into the dining room, Suzy showed her the Contrary to Popular Belief book.
            “I told you NOT to bring anything they’ll think is snobbish!” she said as she slammed the book on the table in a violent way that surprised Suzy and had the aides looking over.
            “I had brought some pastries, and we were seated at a table with a nice woman, and I offered them both a tea cake. They both halved theirs and ate a little and Mother, always eager to make friends and not too concerned about being rude to me, said to her friend, ‘I agree. It's kind of doughy.’”
            Suzy admitted that the ones they were eating weren’t as good as the lemon ones she’d tried.
            This caused Mom to hiss again.
            “Don’t listen to me when I ask you not to make snobbish remarks that make it clear you have more than others have!”
            Summing up the visit, Suzy said, “She was really rather unpleasant today. And, needless to say, she must be going through a lot of torment, looking at things the way she does, feeling about things the way she does.”
            One more thing is that she apparently feels responsible for Kay, her roommate, who Mom says “isn’t supposed to leave the room.”


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