"Don't Be So Nice!"

April 16, 2011

Dear Suzy,

                I went to see Mom today because I can’t go tomorrow.  I got there after Kathy had arrived, and Mom was on her bed.  On my way in the door, Ada, who was in a group in the recreation room (by the piano) saw me (although I doubt she knew that I was me) and left the group.  “Can I go with you?” she asked me.  “I’d like to do something different.”  So I invited her in, and I served Mom, Kathy, and Ada some just-out-of-the-over Magic Cookie Bars—very gooey.  Mom was whispering something to Kathy, so Kathy will have to fill us in on that, but while we were there, Joyce came in and even though she had her sheets in one hand, she was able to scoop up a Magic Cookie Bar and then, I think, someone (Kathy?  An aid?) escorted her out of the room.   Kay came to the door at one point and delivered her, “I think you should leave now” comment.  (Any chance her family told her to just tell them “I think you should leave now” whenever she got tired and she’s decided to tell everyone?)  She told Ada that she didn’t like her because she (Ada) had beaten her (Kay) three times.  Ada denied it, and Mom suggested that she just meant beaten her at cards.  A nice black guy named Kingsley came and when I went out to meet him, Kay patted me on the shoulder (even though she doesn’t want to get what I have) and said, “She’s such a nice person.”  Ada then asked, “Are you mad at me now?” and Kay said, “Not yet!”  Then Kay and Ada went to the cafeteria with Kingsley.  I think at that point we’d all read a little from the sensational book Contrary to Popular Belief, and I’d seen your smiling face in the book of visitors.

                Mother was, as you say, very paranoid, but Kathy was able to clean up while we were there, and Mom even decided to go eat in the cafeteria because “It will seem snobbish if I don’t.”  But I think she did warn us to watch what we drank because they put something in it.  She didn’t want to give us too many details because she knew they were listening in—behind the picture, in the light bulb... She didn’t think any of the topics we brought up were appropriate or free from peril.   She told me that she really wished I hadn’t come because now everyone would hate her because how would we feel if no one came to visit us, and then there was this woman who had visitors all the time?  You’d hate her, the bitch.  Mother did a lot of eye rolling and teeth gnashing because I just too often said the wrong thing.  “Don’t be so nice.  They’re going to be jealous.”  I told her that she could brighten their lives by being nice to them, and she said that they didn’t want niceness from her; they wanted it from the people who never visited.  She had a new hair cut, and I thought it looked good.  She knew that Nan was going to cut her hair, but she had no memory of Nan’s every coming because that was Eve Black, and today she was Eve White.  I would say that Mom feels a big weight because she has to guard against the jealousy as well as the poisoning, and even when she sees that the light is shining directly in a poor patient’s eyes, she can’t say anything because then they’ll get made and take it out on her more.  She asked Kathy and me to show some intelligence!  She also said that she thought I was the one someone was referring to—the one with brown hair and some yellow on top.  Well, I liked her hair!

                Kathy put more bird feed in the bird feeders, and as far as I know, she didn’t poison it first.  Everyone’s going to be so jealous!

                Love to you and Kathy,

                Tina