Thursday, January 17, 2013

Making Plans and Hoping


Mom’s life was so full pre-Alzheimer’s that once when we called to find out where she’d like to go on Mother’s Day, she already had plans.  (She changed them to be with us.)  Now she didn’t feel comfortable being more than a few steps away from her bathroom, and even if she wanted to walk out of her “memories” section, the alarm would go off.  This would be her first Mother’s Day at Aegis, and we wanted to use the beautiful dining room on “the other side.”

                                                            April 15, 2011
Dear Suzy and Kathy,
            I’ve made the reservations for Mother’s Day, so we can have the table from 11:00 to 1:00—Mom’s mood making it possible.  If those aren’t quite the hours you want, we could change then.  Today I mentioned that we were going to get the pretty dining room, and she said, “What are you going to wear?  An evening dress?”  I told her nothing quite that dressy, but I would dress up, and she told me that what I had one looked good and suitable.  It was good that I added something besides the brown, she said.
            I hope that Karl can join us.  We have the option between bringing our own food and getting the dining room free or having them bring the food, in which case it’s $6.00 a person, according to Carol the “concierge.”  (And it turns out that their number really was disconnected yesterday!)
            I also made reservations for that pretty dining room for Easter—12:00 start—in case it works out that we could bring David and Karl.  Mom said today that she’d just fallen in love with Karl.  She still carries her card from Jonathan around too.  Great grandsons!  I’d say great family altogether and all together, starting with Mom and Kathy!
            Mom was much more like her “real” self today.  When I came in she and Kristine were sitting side by side talking, and I noticed that Mom’s way of talking to her was kind of like a kindly counselor.  She may feel that she’s back at the Children’s Shelter!  Mom had told one of the aids that I was taking her out for lunch, so I offered to do that, but she didn’t take me up on it.  She did want me to go back to the sandwich store and bring back food, so I did.  Adele, Mom, and I ate it along with the latest batch of cookies I made, but Kristine declined (not wanting to get what I have).  Dori, a pretty white-haired woman walked in and lay down on Mom’s bed, and Mom was very nice about it, but Adele wanted the woman to get her feet off the cover, and Mom did suggest that we remove the Afghan because Dori was wearing shoes.  I put the latest pictures in the Visitors Book Kathy got for her, and Mom commented again on Karl.  Mom started to read from the wonderful book Contrary to Popular Belief, and then Olga came and got people for lunch.  Mom declined, and she also turned down my suggestion that we go outside.  She said, “You don’t know how good it feels to have the place to myself.”  But she said she didn’t want to be seen reading for too long “because then they’ll think, ‘She gets paid for THAT?’” 
            She ate very, very well—a sandwich I brought her plus all the lunch they brought into her room except for the slaw salad. 
            When I was time for me to leave, I told her I’d be back Saturday and was bringing a friend on Tuesday.  She said, “I’m not sure I work on Saturday…Well, I don’t go home, anyway.”  And then it looked as if she were trying to get things straight about her job and about her home.
            But she was certainly in good spirits.  I hope there won’t soon be a swing back to the paranoia.
            Love,
            Tina
PS  Mylo said that one of mom’s friends (Nan?  Andree or Sihua?) came by with flowers, and he had to let her know that Mom wasn’t in great shape yesterday.  I’m not sure what they did with the flowers.


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