Dana’s Comments on Mom
Written in
her big, bold cursive in red ink—a memory to each 11”x 8 ½” page
My mother read entire Moby Dick to me.
She explained that too short a skirt looked like you were trying to
look like a child.
She had done other things while married to Daddy.
She read a Book every day and got up when we came home from school.
She taught us how to speeck the Queens English (but not how to
spell).
She told me not to take advantage of the old men in the Idaho
theatre basement.
She went to Church---“just in case”
Daddy thought she was much smarter than he was
Shoes—My shoes proved I was not yet 30. (I was 60.)
When I agonized over Tina’s beauty, she said Daddy was manipulating
our competitiveness.
She read Moby Dick every night in its entirety. No matter what I did sleep, walk away,
groan—For weeks.
When I dreamed she threw u on
me—she admitted she had.
When the beautiful precious dishes she’d inherited from her adoptive
parents were delivered all smashed, she said it was not tragic, it was because
she was cheap.
She was not materialistic.
When I thought she suffered from not being able to have what she wanted,
she said she’d never thought of that!
She knew the meaning of every word and which words were
meaningful.
She kept David at home as long as possible.
She “won” Daddy from Many women who were servicing him.
She used the word pulchritude in July of 2011 & I can’t even say
or spell it. She said it for Tina’s own
good.
She said, I am ahead of myself” two months before she died.
She looked like Loretta Young (when I was 5-18 and she was 21 yrs.
Older.)
She was beautiful—tall (5’6, straight, thick black hair, huge eyes, small
nose, big lips, thin body, But beautiful legs & butt.
Her energy surpassed everyone’s—even after the Onassis eyelid thing.
She was marked “invalid” on an MPI because she DID read every
editorial every day.
When she took a civil service exam, she scored at the top every
time. In 68 or 69 she was on the top of
many lists in the CC testing Hall.
She noticed when the males I was dating became men. As boys they were unthreatening.
Her spirit was huge.
She loved to read and read anything and everything.
She once worked 2 hours to perfect 1 sentence in Herman’s book.
She admitted in great detail how she had told Tina that Jonathan
wouldn’t like a collage she was making for him and that she had said this out
of jealousy that she hadn’t done more like this 4 her children. 2004
She was always open to talk about sex.
She taught me how to sooth with baby talk.
When her minister stold/stole my edited copy of Intimate Stranger
she admonished him. (Intimate Enemies?)
She worked for 20 yrs & gave much more to the job than was
necessary. She was a perfectionist in
her job.
When she was involved in an accident—car, she couldn’t drive until
in one session a therapist asked her if she felt it was her fault. She could then drive because every accident
her mother ever caused was her (Nadine’s) fault.
The best book my children got every year (from 1-10) was from her!
Will list later—Goodruba Moon was one.
She wanted full attention to her when she visited. Her suggestion: We go to a motel alone away from our daily
duties. I never did this & I’m
sorry.
She made the point that I said 100 cute things & even
interesting and didn’t get a reaction on one from my x husband.
She wanted interaction when we were at a play & was offended by
silence.
She pointed out that eating out was considered by most people (not
me) to be an appropriate way of socializing.
She loved beautiful colors
She watched Erik negotiate nursery school with me behind a hidden
mirror.
She wanted me to live in a house that had reading lights everywhere
& perfect heat regulation.
She taught me how to sew.
Warned against being a nurse—because I didn’t want to be a slave to
a doctor.
She wanted to live in a place where she could be intellectually
stimulated.
She married Daddy because he was the most intelligent man she knew.
She was the author of preemptory attacks. When she felt a criticism coming, she could
level the attack with an observation that could implode his imminent
attack.
When I had a dream that a runaway train rushed through without
stopping at 515, she was offended because she thought I thought the train was
her. Her revenge: The dream meant I would die at 55.
She ordered a man out of the house that had just spent $3000 on her
dinner. She wanted him out because he
wasn’t supposed to be there. He
left—2003, 4 o4 5.
When her adoptive mother told her she chose her because she looked
most pathetic, Daddy said, “Bull shit.
Those people (Lela) were so selfish they were only capable of choosing
the most beautiful baby.
Daddy loved her more than anyone ever and wanted her to stay &
begged and bribed her & was a different person when she left.
She never wavered once she decided to leave him. She had stayed mostly for her children’s
sake.
She was so happy with Kathy & she was aware that Kathy could
have been happy under other circumstances (with another person)
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