Part 3 of the Letter A

            This morning I drove to the Y around 5:00 AM and found it deserted, which got me to thinking about Mom’s dad who worked for the YMCA in Paris during and after World War I and would have taken Memorial Day seriously instead of regarding it as sales day at Macy’s (which can be seen from the Stonestown  Y parking lot).

            But now I will continue with the letter following the test Mom thought she had aced.

I recommend that she abstain from alcoholic beverages.  Although we do not think that alcohol is the cause of her problems, alcohol depresses the nervous system, can disturb sleep, and most importantly, causes short term memory and judgment problems.

{Mother was not drinking more than an occasional glass of wine at this time.}

Fortunately, your mother is not driving and should not drive. Since she is not driving, we do not need to report to the Department of Motor Vehicles.

{Ah, Mom, who learned to drive at the age of twenty in Los Angeles traffic and later drove us all over the nation after packing up after Daddy took a job in another state.  From California to Idaho to Iowa to South Carolina to Kansas and back to California.  She was such a good driver except for that time she drove into the NYC tunnel the wrong direction.  (That was really an aberration.  When she got tired, she’d pull over on the side of the road and nap.)  She was much more competent than I have ever been.  In fact, I’m writing this before Javier and I take off on a road trip with another couple to go to Santa Fe.  Instead of driving, I’m paying for all the gas, but Mom would have driven her fair share.  Even in her last years when I visited her on Fridays and for weeks during the summer, she drove competently but wisely sold her car to their gardener’s son, who was so happy to have it.}

One of the most difficult aspects of caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease is knowing how to respond to the confusion, mistakes, and changes in behavior that dementia produces.  We discussed specific aspects of how to respond to her behavior at the appointment.  Managing the behavior of a dementia patient often requires much practice and so the more you can learn about it, the better.  The blue folder than I gave you contains a booklet on behavior management, a one page sheet of tips families have found helpful, and a list of recommended readings.  You may wish to attend some of the workshops on behavior management that are held from time to time in this area.  The Alzheimer’s Association or the Family Caregiver Alliance are good sources of information regarding upcoming public events.)