Thursday, March 7, 2013

"Everyone Hates Me." Your pictures are beautiful. "That's Why."


Friday, July 22, 2011 

Dear Suzy and Kathy,
            Just talked to Karl, who said Dana’s operation couldn’t have gone better.  It went just perfectly—exactly as they hoped!  That the best news.
            But the news about Mom isn’t bad.  She seemed agitated when I saw her this morning, but there were some good moments in the 50 minutes or so that I was with her.
            When I arrived, she said this was a bad time for me to be there because everyone hated her.  When I asked her why, she said because she’d colored these pictures, which she showed me.  I told her they were beautiful, and she said, “That’s why.”  She asked an aide to keep them for her, and then we went to her room.
            “But you know who may be in there, so we’ll have to be very quiet.”
            “Kay?” I asked, and Mom said, “Yes,” but Kay wasn’t there.
            Mom asked me where she had put the pictures she’d colored, and I told her she’d given them to the aide.
            “Did you see me do it?” she asked, and I told her yes. 
            Mom surprised me by being willing to go out to the garden in spite of her concern that she should be going to the bathroom.
            (I think I forgot to tell you that on Tuesday she had on four diaper panties.)
            She went to the bathroom at the corner after the 4,3,2,1 # exit, and then we went outside, but she wasn’t sure where she was.
            I showed her the pictures I’d taken on Tuesday, and she said, “I can’t remember their coming to our house.” 
            We read an article from the SF Chronicle—something about parent as teachers, the only upbeat article I could find in the whole Friday paper!  We also read something about a writer on the editorial board and the journalism prize she’d just won, and Mom said, “I’d better get busy with the board.”  She also wanted to withdraw a couple of hundred dollars out of the bank to support the cause.  We read an article about peace demonstrators on Memorial Day, too.  Maybe that’s when she wanted to make the financial contribution.  But she wasn’t sure of the date. 
            “Is it September?”  “Is it August?”
             She was pretty close!
            I was wondering about an old picture in which I’m wearing a pretty mauve and white scarf Mom brought me back from Alaska (I think), and when I asked her, “Do you know when you went to Alaska?” she said, “I don’t know anything about time.”
            When we were in the garden, a woman named Georgia came out.  She said her mother Mary was new to Aegis, and I thought maybe it was the Mary we know and love.  It wasn’t.  This was a very, very new Mary, not the one with the sister she’s always planning her getaway with.  After we met Mary, Mom wanted to go back in.  I gave her a lot of choices—sitting room, her room, Other—but she chose going in the dining room, where she sat at the table with Frank and hid the two pictures I’d given her under the place mat. 
            She said, “They don’t want to look at pictures.” 
            She also told me that I could go.  I told her I’d be back tomorrow.  She didn’t look overjoyed, but she didn’t tell me not to come either.
            Then I returned to SF and the Downtown Library, where I looked up an article from 2001 and, after about an hour, realized I was missing my car key!  I retraced my steps, checked with the librarians and security, and decided to return to the car before calling Triple A.  But there at the foot of the parking meter was my key. 
            So…considering that, and Mom’s not refusing to see me ever again, and the great outcome of Dana’s operation…I think this has been a good day.
            And how are YOU two doing?
            Love,
            Tina

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