Monday, March 11, 2013

"If I Can Get Through Today..." and Funny Times


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dear Suzy and Jonathan (I’m respecting the fact that Kathy is on vacation.)

            Maybe Mom can best sum up how she was doing today.  Before I left, she said, “If I can get through today, I can get through anything.”
            When I arrived today about 11:15, Mom was in the cafeteria at a table with Carol and Ella Mae, but she was talking to someone (Bobbie?) at the other table, and when I asked Mom how she was, she said, “Not so good.”  At first I thought she was in a paranoid frame of mind, but as the saying goes, even paranoids have enemies, and she was agonizing over Kay (whom she never calls by name).  She said she would be moving, but “she’ll kill me before it’s over.”  Maybe that was a bit strong, as was her response when I told her that Kay had problems with reality but that the staff understood that Mom had rights that Kay didn’t understand.  The staff knew that Kay didn’t own the establishment.  “But I think she has people working for her.  Watching,” Mom said. 

            Okay.  I take back what I said about paranoia.

            When Kay was brought in and seated (by herself as is so often the case), Mom nudged me and said, “There she is.  My ex-roommate.” 
            Then Mom said, “I wonder what my dearly departed is wondering.” 
            By this time, Ada had had her hair combed and had joined us, so she asked Mom to repeat what she was wondering.  (Ada seems annoyed these days, and she doesn’t like her food.)
            After reassuring Mom that she (Mom) was a wonderful person we all knew was wonderful and innocent of charges and with rights to her side of the room (now very well labeled), I tried to distract Mom with the Funny Times newspaper I’d brought.   It’s a newspaper of 24 pages, but Mom managed to find the column “How to Be a Burden on Your Children.”    Mom read a few sentences aloud and underlined them, but I saw no indication that they made any sense to her.
            She found a cartoon with a guy just off the phone telling his wife, “Our broker just informed me that we have to die in two years.” 
            I was starting to feel really bad about what I’d brought in.   
            Mom wrote “Running out of insurance” and drew an arrow to the man, which showed a pretty good grasp. 
            In the frame of another cartoon, she copied the words below, which were “Whoa, Boy.  Whoa.” 
            She seemed to grasp the one of a woman at the computer looking at Genealogy Services:  “Find Relatives: $100 + up—Prevent Relatives from Finding you $1000 + up.”  We all laughed.      At one point I accidentally tore a page, and Mom was really annoyed, as if she couldn’t take me anywhere and couldn’t afford to prevent relatives from finding her.  She took the page away from me and tried to repair it.  
            In a few minutes she correctly identified the funniest cartoon and explained it to the other people at the table.  “There’s a nurse, and she’s saying, ‘The doctor will see you now, but please try not to upset him with all your medical problems.’”  I laughed and the others smiled. 
            Mom explained a couple of the other cartoons.  Then she asked about lunch and wanted the chocolate drink Carol had gotten, so I got it for her, and later I got her a refill.  I asked her about playing the piano, and she said, “I don’t usually have much of a concert in the afternoon.”        She sort of announced to the others at the table that she had wanted to practice the piano, but then when it got so crowded, she didn’t want to. 
            She asked me to get her napkin from on top of the piano, where I also found The Lazlo Letters and a couple of crossword puzzle books.  She mentioned Kay a few more times.  “If I had a car, I’d just go,” Mom said. 
             She told me she’d called Kathy, but she didn’t think the call had gone through.  “I wanted to tell her that I’d soon be out of my natural habitat.” 
            They were pounding in the carpet upstairs, and Ada asked, “What’s that noise?”  I told her, and then she wanted to know, “What’s that noise.” 
            Franz and Bobbie were holding hands very sweetly, and then he looked at her and said, “What’s your name?  I don’t know your name.”
            “You don’t know my name?” Bobbie asked.  “It’s Bobbie.”
            He tried to pronounce it and with her help finally came pretty close. 
            “Don’t forget my name,” she told him gently but firmly. 
            Then she wanted to help him to the bathroom, but the staff asked them to sit back down. (Like the staff, I suspected that they were going to make their getaway.  Bobbie is half of the sister team that called a taxi to take them away.  They’re always plotting.)  The staff said they’d take Franz to the bathroom, and Bobbie said, “Thank you.  I appreciate that.”
             “I wonder what my ex-roommate has in mind,”  Mom said, looking over at Kay.  . “She just brushed me off,”
            “What’s that noise?”  Ada asked.  “This food is awful!”
            “I don’t know where we’re going to go after lunch,” Mom said.
            I told her some of the possibilities, and then Rocsana came by to give Mom her medicine, and I told Rocsana how worried Mom was about not having a place to go, and Rocsana was very reassuring. 
            “You have your bed and your dresser.  It’s all yours.  And if you have any problems you can just come out and look for one of us.  We wear these blue shirts.  We all look the same.”
            And Mom said, “How late are you going to be here?”  And Rocsana said, “Till eight.”
            Then Mom, without finishing her lunch, wanted to go to her room, which we did.  She said she had to get in bed or Kay would be mad. 
            “I’m so scared, I don’t know what to do,” Mom said. 
            I repeated every encouraging word we’d tried, and Mom vacillated between wanting me to talk to the people at the Central Office and wanting me not to say a word because she didn’t want to be a tattle-tale.
            I stayed longer than usual with her.  That’s when she said, “If I can get through today, I can get trough anything.”
            She called my name as I was leaving, “I love you, Tina.”  She remembers all of our names, but she never remembers Kay’s.
            After I left, I talked to Divina, and she said that earlier in the day, Kay had been packing up, but she wasn’t sure whether she was packing up Mom’s stuff or her own stuff or both.  What if she gets confused and leaves but takes Mom with her?
            Nan will be there tomorrow, and I’ll go again on Thursday.

            Love,
            Tina
PS  She’s wearing four padded panties.  When I asked about that, she said, “I have to or she says I’m going to the bathroom too much.”

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