Sunday, March 24, 2013

"Where Am I? How Did I Get Here? Where Do I Go from Here?"


Mom on Sunday, August 07, 2011

Dear Suzy and Jonathan,
            Suzy, how did things go with David on Saturday?  So nice of you to take him to the dentist when you have so much else to balance in your home and job.  (I know you won’t get this till tomorrow, when you go back to the office.  Any estimated time for the upstairs being completed?  I think you said that AT&T was switching on your phone service last Thursday?)  Jonathan, how did the volunteer work go yesterday?
            Today I got to Aegis around 11:20, and Mom and Kay were both in their room.  Kay was giving Mom a tongue lashing as usual, and when I came in and warmly, politely, and (remembering Jonathan’s advice to be calm, and remembering Mom’s comment that her daughter—meaning me—got “riled up”) calmly greeted them both.
            Kay responded by saying, “I’m not sure you should come around.  You’re a bad influence!”  She went on to say that Mom breaks things—things like her owl.  (It didn’t look broken.)  I sort of guided Mom out of the room but invited Kay to join us.  She said, “I don’t care what you do, but I was here first, and I’m older, and I should have some rights.”  I agreed, saying she definitely had some rights, and so did Mom.
            As we went out the door, Mom said, “I’ve got to get out of this place.”
            I suggested the garden.
            Mom said she needed to go to the bathroom, so we went out the 4,3,2,1 # door to the one around the corner, but it had a WET sign (which seemed to be using WET as an adjective, not a verb), so I took Mom to one we’d never before visited together way down the hall in the other section.  As soon as Mom came out, she said “I need to go to the bathroom,” and I reminded her that she’d just gone.  I led her out towards the beautiful garden, and she said, “There’s no bathroom out there.”
            I said, “No, but we’ll be very close to one, and you love the outdoors.  You love flowers.  You love beauty!”
            Mom said, “Yes, I love beauty, but I love my bottom more.”
            We saw someone with an adorable dog, and I hoped that would attract Mom’s attention, but she just grasped my wrist that way she has of communicating an urgent message, and we did one of the fastest walk-throughs the garden could ever have had.  We went back to the newly-discovered bathroom, but this time it was occupied, and the occupying force would not make an early withdrawal.  We made a tour of the “higher functioning” unit, and at one point Mom said, “Let’s get out of here.  I see someone I recognize.”
            “Want to say hello?”  I asked.
            “No!”  She said, and then the woman  (an aide) saw us, and Mom smiled her noblesse-oblige smile, and we returned to the Perry section.  Ada and Dory were already seated, so I thought we should join them early so we could have the possibility of some kind of response by the non-comatose, and that turned out pretty well.  Ada was at the table, and she was back to being Ada—very warm and bubbly and with a memory of about twenty seconds.
            Mom introduced me to Dory.  “This is my daughter,” and Dory woke up and smiled and nodded.
            “I think we’ve met before,” I said.
            Ada said to me, “I like your hair.”
            I said, “Thank you,” and she asked, “Is it natural?”
            I said.  “My hair is natural, but the color isn’t.”
            She laughed and said, “I just had to ask.”  Then she said, “I really like your hair!”
            “Have you ordered yet?”  Mom asked her, and I told her it was a menu fixe!
Mother suspected that they weren’t going to serve lunch.  It was probably already over.  I offered to change places with her so she could see them in the process of getting the trays ready, but she said she was too tired to move.
            I asked for a glass of milk for Mom, and Ada had a stash of pre-lunch things—a banana, which she said her kids always pronounced “blanana,” and a couple of graham crackers packages.  She gave one to Mom.
            “But don’t you need it?” Mom asked.
            “No, I’ve got another.”  She said.  So Mom accepted it and thanked her, and then pretty soon lunch was brought to the table. 
            Ada opened up her sandwich, which was iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, and bacon, and said, “This doesn’t look very good to me.”  We worked together on cutting up her peach, which was very slippery (from a can—and they don’t provide knives or other deadly weapons), and then she opened up her sandwich and said, “This doesn’t look very good to me.  I have this banana.  My kids always pronounced it ‘blanana.’” 
            We laughed about this.  Many times. 
            And then she said, “I like your hair,” but instead of asking whether or not it was natural, she said, “I think you and I have a lot in common.” 
            I said, “Yes, I think we do,” and I looked at Mom to make her part of the “we” we were talking about.  I looked at Dora too, but she was fast asleep.  (I could have told her that I had things in common with HER!)
            Mother asked, “Where am I?  How did I get here?  How do I know where I am?”
            I answered those questions the best I could. 
            “Well, I hope you have a bucket of money because I didn’t bring a cent.”
            I told her the meals were included.  It was a package deal.
            “But where am I going to go from here?”
            I said we could go out into the garden or to the sitting room.
            “But eventually I’ll have to go back to the crabby lady.”
            We talked some more about how the crabby lady couldn’t help herself and maybe there was a way not to be bothered by her comments, but when Divina came over to the table, I told her Mom was worried about going back to the room.  Kay was usually out in the dining room by now, and she hadn’t come out.
            Divina said, “Don’t worry!  I’ll talk to Kay.”
            Mom said, “Better be careful.   This could boomerang.”
            Ada told me, “I like your hair!”  Then she noticed the banana near her plate and said, “My kids used to call this a blanana.”
            Divina told us that Kay was sleeping.  Mother and I excused ourselves, and Mom wanted to use the bathroom.  I peeked in and saw that Kay had awakened.  In the bathroom Divina helped Mom tear off the panty-pad closest to her body, which was wet.  Mother pulled up the other two and then pulled them back down, saying that she had to go to the bathroom.
            Divina offered to get her some prune juice and left to go get it.
            Mom pulled her pants back up and walked into the room and gave Kay a warm hello.
            Kay said, “Hello,” and before I could hear what else she had to say, Mom turned to me and said, “Bye!”
            On my way out, I saw Divina returning with the prune juice. 
            “We’ve talked about your mom and Kay,” she told me, “and we’re going to make a change.”
            I’m planning to see Mom tomorrow and Tuesday morning even though I’m a bad influence and I’m not sure I should be come around so often.  I’ll let Nan see Mom on Wednesday, and then I’ll go back to seeing her only two or three times a week after Kathy gets back on Wed. or Thurs.

            Love,  Tina/Mom+

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