About Saturday, July 30, 2011
Dear Suzy and Jonathan,
Suzy, I
called you coming back from seeing Mom yesterday—what I hope was your cell
phone number. The only number I have for
you now is 510-xxx-xxxx. Is that the
right number? I wanted to know how your
first night in your new house (basement) had gone—or did you return to San
Leandro to sleep? I guess you have
“rights” to another 2 days in the furnitureless apartment. I also guess you won’t have access to your
computer right after you move—or will you?
Javier
and I went to Pleasant Hill directly from a 50th wedding celebration
in San Rafael and arrived at Aegis at 3:30, just as a Flamenco Dance
performance was beginning. Mom was
already seated out there in the main salon, and Javier and I went over to
her. Then Javier went to the bathroom,
and I sat down in the only available chair.
I think
(though I’m not sure) Mom said, “There’s Jonathan,” when she saw Javier coming
out of the bathroom. Of course, I call
Jonathan David and David Jonathan, so I don’t think that was a sign of
Alzheimer’s. (I hope note. So far she’s always remembered us and our
names.)
She and I held hands, and she said, “My
daughter Tina” in a way that was both affectionate and maybe re-affirming that
she knew me.
During
the performance, which was really good, the lead dancer showed how we could clap
along with her, and Mom did. When the
woman sped up the beat—or rather, got more claps into a measure, Mom said, “No
fancy stuff” in a good-humored way. She
also whispered to me, “Were you here when I played for them?” I told her I’d heard her play in the other
room, and it was wonderful, but that I’d missed the performance here in the big
salon but had heard great things about it.
“They
were very polite in applauding,” she said.
Then
she asked me, “Did you come alone?” and I told her Javier had come with
me.
“Where
is he?” she asked, and I didn’t know.
(He had gone upstairs to watch because there weren’t enough seats
downstairs.)
When
people behind us were speaking too loudly, Mom turned to me and smiled and
said, “Gabbers!” She also wanted to know
the entomology of the word castanets.
(Turns out castanuelas is derived from the diminutive form of castana,
the Spanish for chestnut because of the appearance, not because they’re made of
that.)
Mom
seemed comfortable, warm, willing to be a good audience.
She
asked me a second time whether I’d heard her play in this room. Considering what she said on Thursday about
“I’m the only one who isn’t shining” and what she said yesterday, I have the
impression that she really does want to be more than the audience.
My book Unlikely
Friendships: 47 Remarkable Stories from
the Animal Kingdom has come, and I hope that Mom will read it aloud the way
she read aloud (Berthold Brecht and other things) on Poshard Street so many
Fridays. If the other residents like
these stories as much as some we read earlier, Mom will have an audience. I also hear she’s still playing the piano in
the Perry section.
But after
the Flamenco dancing yesterday, she said, “I’m scared because I don’t know how
I got here or who I came with.”
Of
course, I walked her back to her room, and she had to go to the bathroom. She said goodbye to me before I said goodbye
to her. That was the only part of the
hour when she seemed disoriented and frightened the way she has recently during
parts of my visit.
Sonia
Chahal-Sigh, the Executive Director of Aegis, called me on Friday in response
to the letter I wrote and addressed to Dee Jones, Rosmary Brown, and Yelba
Havelhorst. She said she cared a lot
about Mom and the other residents and wanted me to contact her about my/our
concerns. She also said she knew about
the situation with Kay and they were planning to make a change.
Today I
go to what we call the View and Chew French Brunch Bunch, a group I’ve begun
meeting with once a month to resurrect my French by watching videos in French
and discussing them, but the host doesn’t know how to work his DVD and has
suggested we discuss the debt ceiling instead.
(He’s in the world of finance!).
But after that I’ll go directly to Aegis with the book on Unlikely Friendships, and I’ll let you
know if Mom has had the chance to shine as well as to focus on really warming
stories. (This doesn’t include the news
stories we’ve been getting of sea lions ensnared in man-made debris or the
polar bears that are drowning while swimming to solid ground or the mountain
lion that walked from South Dakota to Connecticut in search of a home.)
Suzy, I
hope the move yesterday went well! I’ll
call you later.
Jonathan,
I’ve heard the Smurfs have invaded Central Park!
Love,
Tina
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment