Saturday, March 2, 2013

Mom Talks of Finding a Good Place for David



Subject: Mom Thursday, July 7, 2011

Dear Kathy and Suzy,
                This morning before leaving to see Mom, I told Kathy that I was having an error-prone day, a day in which I felt almost dangerous. 
                Sure enough, when I went out to my car, I had two tickets on my windshield, and even though they were put there yesterday, yesterday was too good of a day for me to see them, so they waited until today to be seen.  One was for parking 2 hours too long on a block I could have walked to, and the other for not having the registration ticket I had paid for but never put on!  Once I was in the ticket-laden car, it took me an hour and 40 minutes to get to Aegis because of an accident and very heavy traffic.  (I assume I caused the heavy traffic, but I’m not sure about the accident.  How far can my bad day travel?)
                Happily,  Mom was doing better than I was.  I’d planned to visit her before lunch, but it was almost lunch when I got there, and she was sitting with May and Bob.  She seemed happy to see me, and she put on her glasses, put her head next to mine, and asked May whether she  (Mom) and I looked alike in our glasses.  May said there was a resemblance.  Then Mom took her glasses off but put them on a couple of minutes later and asked May whether she (Mom) and I looked alike in our glasses.              May once again said there was a resemblance.  (I’m glad she didn’t change her story!) 
            Mom was very gracious about introducing me to other people like Kay, whom she called her “ex-roommate.”  (She wishes.)
            Mom asked me whether we were in the section of the place her office was in, and I told her that yes, her room was just across the hall.  She asked me  to get her album, and then she showed May some pictures, including ones of David.  She told May that David had to wear a helmet because of seizures, and May asked just what the symptoms of a seizure were.  I explained, and May said, “Oh, how sad!”  Mom said that when David was younger and living at home, he never got included in any of the games the other kids played, but then she found him a really good place, and he’s quite content.  I backed that up by quoting David’s “Yeah, I’m content” statement from last Thursday.    May seemed genuinely glad to hear that.   Mom explained that having David in the nice place meant she didn’t have to stay home with him all the time.  I asked Mom whether she’d like us to bring David to see her, and she said, “Wouldn’t it terrify these people if he had a seizure!”  I agreed and suggested that we bring him to a room in the place just with us since we know what to do in case of a seizure and don’t feel afraid. 
            This was the first time I’d heard Mom really talking with anyone other than (as a therapist) to Kay and to Ada. 
            May seemed to remember that I’d given her a picture of her with us but said she didn’t know where she’d put it.  May said she liked my camera, and Mom said she’d like to have one just like mine, even if it cost extra.  I reminded her that we got her a camera, but I didn’t dwell on it or arrange to pick it up!
            Mom ate some of her iceberg salad, but as soon as the lemon meringue pie came along, she told Divina and Jasmine that she had finished her salad.  Mom whispered to me that this was the kind of lettuce they liked to serve, and it was the worst for her teeth.  But she wanted to reassure all those responsible for the salad.   “It’s not your salad,” she told Divina.  “It’s my teeth.”  She told her that twice, and both times Divina reassured her that she understood and wasn’t angry or hurt.
                Then someone (Carol?) must have struck out at someone else because the staff cried out “No!  Don’t do that!”  And Ada expressed indignation, saying something like “That was rude!”  And Carolyn said something to the effect that she just wanted to take a little something from his plate. 
            Frank said, “You don’t do that.  It’s just common sense.  We all have an equal amount.”  Someone on the staff took Carol away from the table.
                Mom whispered, “High drama.” 
            May told me, “She (Carol) is very hard to get along with.” 
            Then we heard another little shriek, and this time Erik and Frank were in some kind of an altercation.    
                Mom said, jokingly (I think), “See what happens when you visit?” 
                I told her that even though I’m not superstitious, I felt that I was giving off negative vibes today, so I’d better leave and try again on Sunday morning.
                She seemed okay with that.  We hugged and said goodbye.  She headed for the bathroom, but I don’t think she’s obsessed with the toilet the way she used to be.  I think maybe, at last, she’s been liberated from that obsession.  Do you agree?
                Love,
                Tina

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