Like Father, Like Daughter and What about Mother?

We all agreed that my friend Katherine was the sweetest person we'd ever met.  She had a way of listening to everyone in a very affirmative way.  It got me to thinking about how I listen to everyone, but in a somewhat confrontive challenging way, and I have the perfect example (as well as a very good model from my dad and, sometimes, from my mom).

On Tuesday a friend wasn't quite ready when we arrived to pick her up for a birthday celebration, so her husband let us in, and when I asked about her 50th reunion at a college back east, he said, "Did you know that she was one of the seven women who integrated it fifty years ago?"  He said he'd show us something and left the room, returning with a plaque acknowledging our friend as one of the seven women.  We were really impressesd.

Then, when our friend joined us, I said, "How many people come back with a plaque from their fiftieth reunion?!"

She said, "Oh, did he show it to you?"
"Yes!"  I said.  We told her how impressed we were.
She went up to her husband and said, "You've got to honor bounderies.  You had no right to show it to them."

I said, "Oh, I thought he was just showing an interest and appreciation for what you'd accomplished."

I realized later that Katherine would have found a way to affirm both husband and wife.  But instead of affirming her negative feelings, I was challenging them.

That makes me more like my parents than like Katherine.