The Browning Version Screen 28

Andrew

He's reading a thank you note to me to a tune I taught them.  His own words, except for the last two lines.  And he says such kind things.

Frank

That's quite a nice tribute.

Andrew

It's so...so kind.  And who knows.  Maybe he means it!

Frank

I'm sure he does!

Andrew

He went on YouTube to praise me.  To honor me.

Millie

walks in the main door

God, I thought they'd never get it straight!

Andrew

Millie, I just got the nicest tribute from a student.

Millie

Really?  What?  I hope it's money, though that would hardly make up for the forty percent of your pay you won't be getting.

Frank

A student went on YouTube and sang his thanks to Andrew!  It's really nice.

Gets the song to start again

Millie

recognizing Taplow

Oh, the student who was here earlier?

Frank

Yes!

Millie

What a little fraud!

Andrew

Why do you say that, Millie?  Why a fraud?

Millie

Well, I caught him making fun of you.  Doing an imitation of you.  This very afternoon.  I guess he was terrified that I'd tell you, and you wouldn't give him a passing grade  Look at how desperate he is.  He makes up to you on YouTube!

Andrew

I see.  Well, it's been a long day.  I think it's time to get going.

rises

Are you ready, Millie?  Or perhaps Frank would like to give you a ride home if you need to stay.

The Browning Version Screen 27

Gilbert

taking leave

I appreciate your showing me the office.  Thank you.  And I'll see you tomorrow.

Andrew

Not much of me, I'm sure.

Gilbert

Walks towards the main door, looks back, exits.

Andrew

goes to the computer, which Millie has left on

logs on

What he sees is projected on a large screen visible to the audience

 An e-mail from Taplow gives Andrew the link to You-Tube, where Taplow can be seen singing to the tune of "The Impossible Dream"

Taplow on YouTube 

He very kind teacher, work hard.
He very help student like me.
E--ven school finish  he help me
 extra credit! dadadada.
I very like song that he teach
To tune we remember a word
To live with your heart saying thank you!
To a far dadadadada star.

moves closer to the camera and speaks

Sorry, I copy last two line mostly.  Manuscript Rule.  Other side.

Andrew

half laugh, half sob

Frank

enters

Hello, Andrew.  You're still tutoring?

Andrew

No, but look at this. I can't believe this.  Look what this student has done.  How do you get it to go back?

Frank

starts it again

(Repeat of Taplow's "performance."
That's wonderful!  That's quite a tribute, what I can understand of it

The Browning Version Screen 26

Andrew

Yes, that's how people communicate now, isn't it.  Online.  Anonymously.

Gilbert

Yes.  You can find anything online.

Andrew

"And he makes you sing with him."

Gilbert

I'm so sorry!  I--

Andrew

No, I'm sorry.

Gilbert

I hate to think what's online about me.

Andrew

I'm sure that you won't find such negative things about yourself online.  But I am sorry because this makes it quite clear how totally I've failed at a career that really began rather well.

Gilbert

I'm sure--

Andrew

I knew that there was no longer the rapport I had before or that other instructors still have.  But I thought there were still those moments...that there was still something that I could offer that...

Gilbert

I'm sure there was.  I'm sure there is.

Andrew

I apologize.  I shouldn't be putting you in a position where you have to comfort and reassure me.  I should be helping you...get assimilated.

Gilbert

You are.

Andrew

laughs

Yes, I'm giving you a very bleak overview, aren't I.  But just remember.  Other teachers are more successful than I am.  The students like most of their teachers.  I'm the exception, not the rule.
I've known for years that students don't like...earnestness.  I had thought that the songs offered some levity.  But...Well, at this time of my swan song, I can give you that advice.  Don't make them sing with you.  I think now I understand why Forbisher asked for my permission to take my faculty offering off the program tomorrow.  Not so much for the time constraint.  But because he didn't want me to make them sing with me.

Gilbert

I don't know what more to say.

Andrew

I'm sorry that I've put you in a position where you have to say anything at all.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 25

Andrew

Well, I have crates of songs I've written to help the students learn English.

Gilbert

Yes I saw the comment, "And he makes you sing with him."

Andrew

stunned, short pause

"And he makes you sing with him"?

Gilbert

Oh, you know how students can be when they have the anonymity of the Internet.

Andrew

You saw that comment online?

Gilbert

Well, I didn't exactly see it myself.  Frobisher showed it to me.  He was doing a search to find your office number, and that just came up.

Andrew

"And he makes  you sing with him"?

Gilbert

I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you feel bad.  I thought it was more a commentary on the students' lack of appreciation than on the singing.

Andrew

"And he makes."  Did they remember to put on the  final s?  That makes it sound like an inside job!

Gilbert

I'm so sorry.  I shouldn't have told you.  I feel awful.

Andrew

You shouldn't feel awful that you've told me something that I should have realized on my own.  I've known for years that there was no...rapport...between most of my students and me.  But there was a time when they enjoyed the songs. 

Gilbert

I'm sure they still do!  That was just one comment.  One mean-spirited student.  To tell you the truth, I feel quite a lot of anxiety taking this job.  I'm from the east coast, and I got hired when people here had a lot more seniority.  I'll bet I could find some fairly negative comments about myself online!

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 24

Millie

Well, he almost did.  To save you embarrassment, I made it sound as if it were just as inconsequential to you as it was to them.

Andrew

That was very thoughtful of you, but you know some people do...enjoy singing.  They enjoy the lightheardedness--

Millie

Lightheartedness. Yes, if it really were.  You're about as lighthearted as--

Gilbert enters the main door

Andrew

stands up

Gilbert

Excuse me, I'm looking for an Andrew  Crocker-Harris

Andrew

I'm Andrew Crocker-Harris.  Are you Gilbert?

Gilbert

Yes!  I was just stopping by to see the office.  I believe you're retiring, and--

Andrew

Nice to meet you.  This is my wife, Millie.  She won't be retiring.

Millie

Welcome!  I've heard so much about you.

Gilbert

I hope it's as good as what I've heard about you.

Millie

I hope you'll excuse me. I see that they made a mistake in my copies, and I'll have to go straighten that out.  But I'll see you later--or at the gathering.

Gilbert

Great!

Andrew

So, this will be your office.  I'll have the rest of my things out by the end of the day tomorrow, and you can start moving in.

Gilbert

Oh, don't rush.  I know you've been here quite a long time, and it must take a while to clear out.

The Browning Version 2014, Screen 23

Frobisher 

goes out

Millie

So what brought him here?

Andrew

Delicate matters.

Millie

Not about your retirement pay, I hope.

Andrew

Not only that.

Millie

Did he renege on that eighty percent promise?

Andrew

It wasn't exactly a promise.  He's advised me.  He admitted that he was...mistaken.

Millie

So how much are you going to get.

Andrew

Closer to sixty.

Millie

So basically I'm going to be supporting us.

Andrew.

I will be able to support myself.

Millie

Support yourself!  I remember a time when a man supported his wife.

Andrew

I'll certainly share what I can, dear.

Millie

Share?  Yes!  The crumbs.  You said there was some other delicate matter?

Andrew

Yes, about the gathering tomorrow.  He says he'll have to cut out my farewell song.

Millie

Oh, yes!  I knew that.

Andrew

How did you know?

Millie

He asked my advice when he realized how little time they'd have for it.  I told him you wouldn't mind.  You really shouldn't put people in this situation--feeling that that they can't say no to what you have to offer.

Andrew

I don't think they feel that they can't say no.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 22

Andrew

Embarrass them?

Dr. Frobisher

Being ESL students, they miss the play on words, so the songs just seem...

Andrew

Embarrassing

Dr. Frobisher

Pearls before swine.

Andrew

I don't think of our students as swine.

Dr.  Frobisher

But English isn't their native language.

Andrew

sings

And an oink oink here, and an oink oink there.

Frobisher

I'm glad you're showing a sense of humor, because I felt bad about having to cut out your song.

Andrew

But I was also doing it for my colleagues...for whom English is the first language.  And word play may not be lost.

Dr. Frobisher

And they love your songs.  But even so, tomorrow there will be a limited amount of time, and they'll be preoccupied with other matters.

Andrew

All right!  Fine.

Millie 

enters

Hello, Frobisher!

Dr. Frobisher

Ah, Millie, the better half.  I don't mean that of course.  But I do think you're a very lucky man, Andrew, and I'm grateful that Millie's not retiring with you.

Millie

Oh, I'd die of boredom if I had to retire.

Frobisher

Even though it would give you and Andrew more...quality time together.

Millie 

Exactly.

Frobisher

Well, I should be going, but I'll see you tomorrow.  For the festivities!

Andrew

Yes.  The festivities.