Seventy Is an Awkward Age--I'll Be Beautiful at Eighty

I saw Rita Moreno, 83,  in the newspaper this morning, and I realize that I may not be attractive again until I'm in my eighties.  Seventy is an awkward age--past the age of youth but not deep enough into old age for acceptance and adoration.  

Then I thought of that exchange from Barefoot in the Park, which I just looked up:

Once a month

              I try to make pretty young girls nervous

              just to keep my ego from going out.

              I'll save you a lot of anguish.

              I'm  ... I'm    years old

              and a thoroughly nice fellow.

              Well, I'm glad to hear that.

              I wish I were    years older.

              Older?

              Dirty old men seem to get away with a lot more.

              I'm still at the awkward age.

This version took out his age, but I looked it up!  This character, Valesco, is 58!!!!  He wishes that he were 68--a year younger than I am now.    But Neil Simon, born in 1927, was only 36 in 1963 when he wrote this play.  To him 68 seemed like what eighty really is!  Maybe now, at 88, Neil Simon is old enough to "get away with a lot more."