How English Spell Check Corrects My Spanish

I sent a text message to my meque (mejor que un esposo--better than a husband), Javier, who is in his hometown of Nicoya, Costa Rica this month, repairing the  house he was born in. 

Spell check just wouldn't leave my message alone:

Como van las cosas?  How are things going?  became Como van las visas.  How are the visas coming along?

Me saludas a Marcia y a Miguel--Say hello to Marcia and Miguel for me--became Me salinas.
Tengo una  (as in I have a) became Tenfold ina.

Conmigo (with me) became Cosmogony.  Now that's a useful English word!

Miercoles (Wednesday) became mercilessly.
dia (day) became dis.  (Don't dis my day!)
entradas (tickets) became entrap as.

Estar (to be) became estate.
Comprendo (I understand) became compressor, and cansado (tired) became cans ado. 

All this seems cans ado about nothing.  I just don't compressor.  Do you?  If so, come cosmogony in spite of the fact that I tenfold ina splitting headache.