The Browning Version 2014 Screen 36

Millie

To stay at his place!  Why on earth did he ask you?

Andrew

Maybe for the same reason that children and grandparents get along so well.  They have a common enemy.

Pauses

I'm sorry, Millie.  I don't want to...

Millie

To be honest?  That's my job!  I'm the one who tells the truth.  You hide behind good manners and Greek.

The phone rings.

Andrew

Hello?  Oh, hello  Frobisher.  Yes!  I'll be sure to turn in the keys tomorrow.  By the way, I have something to tell you.  I've decided that I would like to include my "Swan Song" in the festivities tomorrow.

Pauses

Oh, I'm sorry that you've already printed up the program,  We'll have to edit it.

Pauses

I understand about the time constraints.  But this is the last time I'll...intrude on you like this. See you tomorrow.

Hangs up the phone

To Millie

Well, it's time to get going, dear.

Picks up his stack of papers and walks to the door.  

Holds the door for her.

Millie puts her handbag over her shoulder.

Walks out the door.

Andrew follows Millie and lets the door close.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 35

the way they say the old Victorian houses do.  Force of habit.

Frank

Andrew, you should leave her.

Andrew

And go where, exactly.  We can hardly afford the home we have together.

Frank

You can stay at my place.  I'm going to be gone most of the summer.  You can stay in my flat until you find a place to live.

Andrew

A more cynical man than I am might think you were keeping me away from your mistress.

Frank

She's not my mistress.  I have no interest in ever seeing her again.  I wish I could convince you of that.

Andrew

Oh, you've convinced me.  It's strange that I feel a pain for her.  That you've rejected her.  I feel a strange urge to protect her from your rejection.  And now you tell me that I should leave her.

Frank

She'll respect you more.

Andrew

In the morning?

Millie

re-enters

to Frank

You're still here?  I thought you had other things to do--other than taking me home.

Frank

I'm just leaving.  And I'm hoping that Andrew will using this.

Hands him his card

My address is on that.  Come while I'm still here, and I can show you around.  Show you which plants to water and which ones to ignore.

Andrew

Thank you, Frank.  I appreciate your...invitation.

Frank

to Millie

Good bye.

To Andrew

See you soon, I hope.

Leaves

Millie

Well, that's weird.  What's going on?  What invitation did he give you?

Andrew

To stay at his place while he's away.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 34

Andrew

You didn't ask her to marry you?

Frank

No!  I've never made any promises.  Or any declarations.

Andrew

Why do you suppose she would tell me such a thing?  You make my wife sound a bit desperate, Frank.

Do you want to know the truth?  Can you bear the truth?

Andrew

I can bear anything.

Frank

What I did I did out of almost boredom.  She was there.  She flirted.  I responded.  Maybe I was even a little bit intrigued that she was a married woman.  Or maybe I felt protected because she was.  But I never felt anything for her.

Andrew

And I once felt so much.

Frank

I never told her I loved her or told her that I loved her.  The only real emotion she's ever aroused in me is the one she aroused just now when she told you what she told you.  I felt disgust.

Andrew

That's not a very kind thing to say, Frank.

Frank

Oh, stop being so polite!  You've got to leave her.

Andrew

She's my wife.  For as long as she wants to remain my wife.

Frank

Why won't you leave her?

Andrew

Because I don't want to add another grave wrong to one I have already done her.

Frank

What wrong have you done her?

Andrew.

I married her.

Pause

You see, Frank, she is really as much to be pitied as I am.  We both need something from the other that would help us make it through life, but neither of us is able to give it.  She needs one kind of love, and I need another.  When I married her, I thought that the love I had for her was...compatible with the love she had for me.  But I wasn't able to give her the kind of love that she needed, and that drove out the other kind of love, the kind I could have given her.  So now, she does what she has to do, and I stand by.  We hate each other with a bitterness that has replaced the love.  We stay together

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 33

Andrew

Nothing is ever too horrible to think of, Frank.  It is simply a question of facing facts.

Frank

Did it ever occur to you that she was lying?

Andrew

No, she never lies.  In twenty years she has never told me a lie.  Only the truth.  Do you want me to quote dates?

Frank

She told you six months ago?

Andrew

Isn't it seven?

Frank

She told you even before it began?  Why have you been so civil to me?  Why haven't you confronted me?

Andrew

If I were uncivil and confrontational with everyone who, in the past twenty years, has had an affair with my  wife...I'd spend an awful lot of time being uncivil and confrontational.

Frank

What a horrible person she is

Andrew

That's not a very galant way to speak of a woman you plan to make your wife.

Frank

What?  Where did you get that idea?  Did she tell you that?  That was a lie.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 32

Frank

No one's ever gone on YouTube for me!  Considering what he told me--that he really likes you--and considering the video itself, I'd say it was really a tribute, not a mockery.

Andrew

What does it matter?

Frank

Andrew, I'm leaving now, and we really won't have time to talk tomorrow at the retirement function.  So I'd like to give you some advice as a friend.  As someone who wishes that we had been friends.
Leave your wife.

Andrew

pauses

So that you can more easily carry on your affair with her?

Frank

Pauses

How long have you known?

Andrew

Since it first began.

Frank

How did you find out?

Andrew

From my usual source of such information.  Someone whose word I could hardly doubt.

Frank

shows repulsion

She told you!  That's too horrible to think of.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 31

Frank

It's over, Millie.

Andrew

enters the main door

Millie

walks past him through the main door

I need to use the restroom, too.

Andrew

Are you waiting for Millie?

Frank

No, I was waiting for you.  Because I want you to know the truth about Taplow.

Andrew

Oh, Taplow.  The little fraud.

Frank

Maybe not such a fraud.  It's true that he was imitating you today.

Andrew

Was it a good imitation?

Frank

No

Andrew

I'll bet it was.  Boys can be very clever mimics.

Frank

But he was doing it mostly because I was egging him on.  I'm sorry.

Andrew

That's quite all right.

Frank

But we also talked about you, and he told me that he really liked you.

Andrew

Oh, is that right.

Frank

He said that you didn't seem to want to be liked, but he liked you very much.  So I'd say that that what he did on YouTube

Andrew

Oh, God!  YouTube.   What a lot of fuss over a half-assed attempt at online flattery.  And who knows?  Maybe it was really mimicry.  And now anyone who sees it will know what I'm sure he's alerting them to now.  That he went online to make a world wide fool of a me.  I can hear him now:  "I go  on YouTube.  Make Crocker-Harris give me passing grade.  He fall for it."  Isn't it funny?  After all these years I can't really mimic the way they speak English.  But I think I get the content right.  "He make you sing with him."

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 30

Millie

Oh, you're being so sensitive to his feelings!  What about mine?  It doesn't matter to you that I love you!

Frank

You should go to him, Millie.  He needs you.  Well, he needs a wife.  

Millie

Why all this concern for him all of a sudden?  

Frank

He's hurt, Millie.  As badly as a person can be.  

Millie

Oh, you can't hurt Andrew.  He's dead.

Frank

Why do you hate him so much?

Millie

Because he keeps me from you.

Frank

That's not true.

Millie

Because he isn't a man at all. 

Frank

He's a human being.

Millie

Oh, what a lofty way you have of talking after deceiving him for six months.  

Frank

Twice in six months.  At your urgent invitation.

Millie

slaps him

Frank

I deserved that.  And worse.

Millie

Frank, I'm sorry.  Frank, I love you.  I understand that you don't love me as a person.  As the human being you see in Andrew.  I just want you to love me as a woman.  You do that very well.  You do love me in that way, Frank.

Frank

is silent

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 29

Millie

That's right.  I don't have my car here today.  It's in the garage.  I need to get these papers put away.  If Frank can give me a ride, you don't have to wait.

looks at Frank

Frank

shakes his head

No, I'm sorry.  I won't be able to give you a ride.

Andrew

I need to use the restroom.  I'll be right back.

Goes out the main door

Frank

I can't believe you said what you said!

Millie

Why should he be allowed to keep his illusions?  I'm not!  

Frank

My God, Millie, you had to destroy this one nice thing that's come his way?

Millie

  Why should I let him make a fool out of himself?  Being manipulated by that student.

Frank

Millie, I don't ever want to see you again.

Millie

Frank!  For goodness sake.  Don't be so dramatic.

Frank

I've never loved you.

Millie

Oh, I know that!  You've been very clear on that.  Cruelly clear.

Frank

And I really was going to end this.

Millie

You've said that before, Frank.  But you haven't been able to do it.

Frank

You haven't let me do it.  But this time you've helped me.  By showing me this base cruelty you're capable of.

The Browning Version Screen 28

Andrew

He's reading a thank you note to me to a tune I taught them.  His own words, except for the last two lines.  And he says such kind things.

Frank

That's quite a nice tribute.

Andrew

It's so...so kind.  And who knows.  Maybe he means it!

Frank

I'm sure he does!

Andrew

He went on YouTube to praise me.  To honor me.

Millie

walks in the main door

God, I thought they'd never get it straight!

Andrew

Millie, I just got the nicest tribute from a student.

Millie

Really?  What?  I hope it's money, though that would hardly make up for the forty percent of your pay you won't be getting.

Frank

A student went on YouTube and sang his thanks to Andrew!  It's really nice.

Gets the song to start again

Millie

recognizing Taplow

Oh, the student who was here earlier?

Frank

Yes!

Millie

What a little fraud!

Andrew

Why do you say that, Millie?  Why a fraud?

Millie

Well, I caught him making fun of you.  Doing an imitation of you.  This very afternoon.  I guess he was terrified that I'd tell you, and you wouldn't give him a passing grade  Look at how desperate he is.  He makes up to you on YouTube!

Andrew

I see.  Well, it's been a long day.  I think it's time to get going.

rises

Are you ready, Millie?  Or perhaps Frank would like to give you a ride home if you need to stay.

The Browning Version Screen 27

Gilbert

taking leave

I appreciate your showing me the office.  Thank you.  And I'll see you tomorrow.

Andrew

Not much of me, I'm sure.

Gilbert

Walks towards the main door, looks back, exits.

Andrew

goes to the computer, which Millie has left on

logs on

What he sees is projected on a large screen visible to the audience

 An e-mail from Taplow gives Andrew the link to You-Tube, where Taplow can be seen singing to the tune of "The Impossible Dream"

Taplow on YouTube 

He very kind teacher, work hard.
He very help student like me.
E--ven school finish  he help me
 extra credit! dadadada.
I very like song that he teach
To tune we remember a word
To live with your heart saying thank you!
To a far dadadadada star.

moves closer to the camera and speaks

Sorry, I copy last two line mostly.  Manuscript Rule.  Other side.

Andrew

half laugh, half sob

Frank

enters

Hello, Andrew.  You're still tutoring?

Andrew

No, but look at this. I can't believe this.  Look what this student has done.  How do you get it to go back?

Frank

starts it again

(Repeat of Taplow's "performance."
That's wonderful!  That's quite a tribute, what I can understand of it

The Browning Version Screen 26

Andrew

Yes, that's how people communicate now, isn't it.  Online.  Anonymously.

Gilbert

Yes.  You can find anything online.

Andrew

"And he makes you sing with him."

Gilbert

I'm so sorry!  I--

Andrew

No, I'm sorry.

Gilbert

I hate to think what's online about me.

Andrew

I'm sure that you won't find such negative things about yourself online.  But I am sorry because this makes it quite clear how totally I've failed at a career that really began rather well.

Gilbert

I'm sure--

Andrew

I knew that there was no longer the rapport I had before or that other instructors still have.  But I thought there were still those moments...that there was still something that I could offer that...

Gilbert

I'm sure there was.  I'm sure there is.

Andrew

I apologize.  I shouldn't be putting you in a position where you have to comfort and reassure me.  I should be helping you...get assimilated.

Gilbert

You are.

Andrew

laughs

Yes, I'm giving you a very bleak overview, aren't I.  But just remember.  Other teachers are more successful than I am.  The students like most of their teachers.  I'm the exception, not the rule.
I've known for years that students don't like...earnestness.  I had thought that the songs offered some levity.  But...Well, at this time of my swan song, I can give you that advice.  Don't make them sing with you.  I think now I understand why Forbisher asked for my permission to take my faculty offering off the program tomorrow.  Not so much for the time constraint.  But because he didn't want me to make them sing with me.

Gilbert

I don't know what more to say.

Andrew

I'm sorry that I've put you in a position where you have to say anything at all.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 25

Andrew

Well, I have crates of songs I've written to help the students learn English.

Gilbert

Yes I saw the comment, "And he makes you sing with him."

Andrew

stunned, short pause

"And he makes you sing with him"?

Gilbert

Oh, you know how students can be when they have the anonymity of the Internet.

Andrew

You saw that comment online?

Gilbert

Well, I didn't exactly see it myself.  Frobisher showed it to me.  He was doing a search to find your office number, and that just came up.

Andrew

"And he makes  you sing with him"?

Gilbert

I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you feel bad.  I thought it was more a commentary on the students' lack of appreciation than on the singing.

Andrew

"And he makes."  Did they remember to put on the  final s?  That makes it sound like an inside job!

Gilbert

I'm so sorry.  I shouldn't have told you.  I feel awful.

Andrew

You shouldn't feel awful that you've told me something that I should have realized on my own.  I've known for years that there was no...rapport...between most of my students and me.  But there was a time when they enjoyed the songs. 

Gilbert

I'm sure they still do!  That was just one comment.  One mean-spirited student.  To tell you the truth, I feel quite a lot of anxiety taking this job.  I'm from the east coast, and I got hired when people here had a lot more seniority.  I'll bet I could find some fairly negative comments about myself online!

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 24

Millie

Well, he almost did.  To save you embarrassment, I made it sound as if it were just as inconsequential to you as it was to them.

Andrew

That was very thoughtful of you, but you know some people do...enjoy singing.  They enjoy the lightheardedness--

Millie

Lightheartedness. Yes, if it really were.  You're about as lighthearted as--

Gilbert enters the main door

Andrew

stands up

Gilbert

Excuse me, I'm looking for an Andrew  Crocker-Harris

Andrew

I'm Andrew Crocker-Harris.  Are you Gilbert?

Gilbert

Yes!  I was just stopping by to see the office.  I believe you're retiring, and--

Andrew

Nice to meet you.  This is my wife, Millie.  She won't be retiring.

Millie

Welcome!  I've heard so much about you.

Gilbert

I hope it's as good as what I've heard about you.

Millie

I hope you'll excuse me. I see that they made a mistake in my copies, and I'll have to go straighten that out.  But I'll see you later--or at the gathering.

Gilbert

Great!

Andrew

So, this will be your office.  I'll have the rest of my things out by the end of the day tomorrow, and you can start moving in.

Gilbert

Oh, don't rush.  I know you've been here quite a long time, and it must take a while to clear out.

The Browning Version 2014, Screen 23

Frobisher 

goes out

Millie

So what brought him here?

Andrew

Delicate matters.

Millie

Not about your retirement pay, I hope.

Andrew

Not only that.

Millie

Did he renege on that eighty percent promise?

Andrew

It wasn't exactly a promise.  He's advised me.  He admitted that he was...mistaken.

Millie

So how much are you going to get.

Andrew

Closer to sixty.

Millie

So basically I'm going to be supporting us.

Andrew.

I will be able to support myself.

Millie

Support yourself!  I remember a time when a man supported his wife.

Andrew

I'll certainly share what I can, dear.

Millie

Share?  Yes!  The crumbs.  You said there was some other delicate matter?

Andrew

Yes, about the gathering tomorrow.  He says he'll have to cut out my farewell song.

Millie

Oh, yes!  I knew that.

Andrew

How did you know?

Millie

He asked my advice when he realized how little time they'd have for it.  I told him you wouldn't mind.  You really shouldn't put people in this situation--feeling that that they can't say no to what you have to offer.

Andrew

I don't think they feel that they can't say no.

The Browning Version 2014 Screen 22

Andrew

Embarrass them?

Dr. Frobisher

Being ESL students, they miss the play on words, so the songs just seem...

Andrew

Embarrassing

Dr. Frobisher

Pearls before swine.

Andrew

I don't think of our students as swine.

Dr.  Frobisher

But English isn't their native language.

Andrew

sings

And an oink oink here, and an oink oink there.

Frobisher

I'm glad you're showing a sense of humor, because I felt bad about having to cut out your song.

Andrew

But I was also doing it for my colleagues...for whom English is the first language.  And word play may not be lost.

Dr. Frobisher

And they love your songs.  But even so, tomorrow there will be a limited amount of time, and they'll be preoccupied with other matters.

Andrew

All right!  Fine.

Millie 

enters

Hello, Frobisher!

Dr. Frobisher

Ah, Millie, the better half.  I don't mean that of course.  But I do think you're a very lucky man, Andrew, and I'm grateful that Millie's not retiring with you.

Millie

Oh, I'd die of boredom if I had to retire.

Frobisher

Even though it would give you and Andrew more...quality time together.

Millie 

Exactly.

Frobisher

Well, I should be going, but I'll see you tomorrow.  For the festivities!

Andrew

Yes.  The festivities.